


Let Me Have This

by artemis1967



Category: Walker (TV 2020)
Genre: Angst, First Time, M/M, Reluctant Walker, Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-16
Updated: 2021-01-16
Packaged: 2021-03-14 13:54:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,360
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28796475
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/artemis1967/pseuds/artemis1967
Summary: A forbidden love story, the perfect moment, and Walker just has to learn to let go.
Relationships: Cordell Walker/Liam Walker
Comments: 8
Kudos: 42





	Let Me Have This

"She is gone."

He knows. He buried her.

"And there is nothing you can do."

He knows that too. But the sudden lump in his throat isn't because of her. It was never her.

"Your children need their father."

A stab in the stomach wouldn't hurt as much as the meaning of those words.

"I need my brother." This sounds more like a plea.

No. Walker doesn't want to hear that.

They're wrestling then. It's like being young again, free from all guilt, from the pain that will come. The limbs tangled with his are more muscular than he remembered, but he still retains some of his strength, not wanting to hurt Liam. He could never hurt his little brother, not physically and not intentionally.

"C'mon. Don't hold back," Liam says in a breathless voice as they roll across the ground.

It turns out that holding back has always been the only option, the only way to prevent him from destroying Liam's life.

"I can't," Walker tries to scream his frustration, but it's nothing more than a whisper.

Arms tighten around him, and all he can think of is about a night like this, many years ago, hot and painful.

The night before Liam went to college.

"You left," Walker says, the pain and despair still so vivid in his mind after so many years.

Hands pin his arms against the dirty ground. Liam's mouth is so close to his that Walker can smell beer, and he's to fight the urge to kiss those beautiful lips.

"You did the same when Emily..." Liam doesn't have to finish, eyes showing compassion that Walker doesn't want.

The anger that has been his inseparable companion for the past two years returns, and in seconds it's Liam under him. Understanding and love are all he sees in the blue eyes though.

"It's my fault," Walker admits.

"Bullshit! Except for the part you left us." The hands closing on his hips shouldn't feel so good. "You were not here. I couldn't-"

Emily's death was a shock, even though he could never love her. Not as she wanted. Not the way he loves Liam.

Walker could drown in the big, liquid eyes fixed on him.

"You couldn't give me what I wanted, what I needed. So college was the only option. But you know that."

How could he forget that night. Shouts, tears, and a kiss that almost broke him in pieces; the emptiness that came after.

Fingers pull on his shirt, and their first contact with his skin is enough to wake up all the pleasure centers in his body.

Liam looks at him so open and expectant, without fear of the consequences, and he'd like to have the same confidence. He wouldn't hesitate to enter a building in flames to save a life, but he never had the courage for them.

For a while, his world is limited to touches of those warm fingers on his skin and the unmistakable want on Liam's face. But a tongue licking dry lips shouldn't be so sexy, and the temptation is too much for him. Weak to resist, he closes the distance between them and the rosy lips taste like sin, but nothing has ever tasted this good before. So, there are hands on his ass, grabbing and massaging, and the reality of what's happening hits him like a brick wall.

Retreating is like second nature to him. "I can't," he whispers.

The storm in Liam's posture is immediate, and Walker finds himself under his brother again in a matter of seconds. All the pain in those blue eyes makes his stomach twist uncomfortably. His little brother shouldn't have to go through this kind of pain.

The hand that grabs his jaw is shaking. "Let me have this." The plea in Liam's voice makes Walker's heart break into a thousand pieces, and his stubble isn't enough to prevent the chill that runs through his body when the warm thumb explores every inch of his jaw. "Let us have this," Liam insists.

The body over his is so present and suffocating at the same time.

Used to making decisions, Walker doesn't know what to do right now, and maybe that's why the idea of going back to undercover work seems to be the best option at the moment. His attentive little brother perceives his intention, though, because he says, "You will lose everything."

The statement hurts for its certainty. If he runs away again, there will be no turning back, and he'll lose himself in the process. 

Everything is so unfair, because he just wants a world in which he can love Liam without guilt and fear.

Walker notices the moment Liam gives up, face hiding on his neck. The tears against his skin seem to burn accusingly.

"Don't fucking leave me," Liam's voice drops down to a whisper.

Arms tight around his little brother. Walker buries his nose in the sweaty hair, but his own tears don't come. Not this time.

The words come out of his mouth before Walker can stop them, "I'm not going anywhere."

Liam leaves the shelter of his neck to face him with hopeful eyes then, and maybe what his brother sees on his face is enough because a warm hand holds his face.

Liam licks his way into his mouth. Their mouths open to each other, tears mixed with Liam's sweet taste, and it's the best kiss of Walker's life. He gives in to the kiss, wanting much more, though, wanting to touch and explore and love.

"I wanna take you apart and then put you back together again." There is only certainty in that voice hoarse with desire.

Walker doesn't say anything, but his half-smile is all the permission Liam needs because the weight is off him and the blanket he keeps in his truck for emergencies is spread on the ground before he can get up.

An outstretched hand, which Walker grasps without hesitation, helps him to stand, and it's the inevitability of everything that makes clothes come out of bodies under furtive but no less ardent glances.

Liam has a lot more muscle now, but he is still as tempting as before, and by the look of hunger on his little brother's face, Walker has nothing to be ashamed of either.

The smile that Liam gives him is meant to encourage, but it doesn't ease the apprehension still twisting his stomach in knots, and perhaps it's why Walker doesn't know how he is the one who ends up on his back on top of the blanket.

They are doing it here and now, and he doesn't know what to think about it. Perhaps a bed with the necessary privacy and comfort would be the best option, but deep down, he knows it has to happen now or he will lose everything and forever. He just lies there, wearing only a white t-shirt, open and compliant, and he lets himself be looked at by those eyes that consume everything into them.

This time, when Liam's body is over his, the purpose on the young face is undeniable. His brother kisses him, slow and deep and making him respond with the same passion, even when inside he is still too afraid because this isn't supposed to happen between brothers. The need for satisfaction is more intense, though, and his hands find their way to the firm, smooth skin on Liam's back while they kiss with the same fervor as that first kiss a long time ago.

He's never realized until now how pleasure is potentiated when desire and want are so present, and he's never felt anything like this before. It does feel like the beginning of something, and he needs everything because their erections sliding together don't seem to be enough to satisfy the longing for his brother.

Liam's voice is calm and in control when he finally pulls away from Walker's mouth—leaving him hungry for more—and says, "I'll take care of you, big brother."

Shuddering in anticipation, he just nods his permission.

The next thin, Liam kneels between his spread legs, hands caressing his thighs, assuring and setting fire at the same time. Walker gasps under his little brother's devious look.

"Who knew you would be so responsive," Liam teases.

"Responsive is how you'll look after I kick your ass if you don't get this over with." All bravado is a distraction from the lack of experience he feels when it comes to men. But he guess Liam knows that.

Laughing, Liam runs his fingers along Walker's belly before reaching for a little tube next to his hip, whose presence only now he notices.

"Still so impatient though."

Liam watches his face as he flips open the cap without having a clue about the heart pounding inside Walker's chest. So, the smile disappears from the handsome face. "Relax. I won't hurt you." His brother's voice is calm, trying to reassure, and Walker wants to laugh at that because he can kick ass with a hand tied behind his back.

"I know," he says quietly.

There's the wet shock of a finger, steady but gentle, penetrating, and moving. It's just pressure until a second finger joins the first, scissoring and making room for something bigger.

Serenity seems to evaporate from Liam's features as the minutes pass by, and he looks like sin and desperation when the third finger is added.

The new sensations are exquisite to Walker, but the proof of his arousal is reclining hard and leaking against his belly.

Fingers come out of him at some point and he wants them back on him. Still, he's just lying there for a few seconds, holding his breath and staring up at his little brother, exposed and willing and silently asking for it. He doesn't know if he can handle the adoration in Liam's eyes when his brother pushes inside him for the first time though. "Fuck, fuck. You have no idea-" Liam sounds wrecked.

For an instant, Walker thinks it's too soon, too much, and he's not ready. The burning stretch makes his breath catch in his throat, even if pain isn't strange when you are a Ranger.

"Are you alright?" Liam asks, fully seated inside him and not moving, except for the hand rubbing Walker's hip.

He inhales before answering, "I've never been better, stinker." The nickname comes out naturally. Liam laughs. "Move," he demands, eyes never leaving Liam's.

"Hold your horses, cowboy!" His brother has a self-satisfied smirk on his face, but he rolls his hips and thrusts deep into Walker, effectively preventing any retort.

His ass seems to be built to accept the length because soon there's no trace of pain, only pleasure flooding through his body.

Liam looks like he can't avert his gaze. And he sounds awed, as if he can't believe what is going on, when he says, "I don't even remember when it started. I just remember how much I wanted you, how much I want you."

'Me too' Walker wants to say but can't make his vocal cords work. A feeling of calm invades him when the last bit of doubt disappears, though, leaving only the certainty that he'll give Liam everything he's ever wanted from him.

Arching up on pure instinct, he wraps his legs around his brother's waist and, for the first time, allows himself to have this. Here and now, on a blanket that probably hasn't seen water in months, under a sky full of stars, and with crickets as their soundtrack.

A sudden breeze makes Liam's hair swing, and Walker wonders if the sign is a form of blessing or a curse. He pulls Liam's face for a kiss, which is nothing more than mouths touching while they share the same air, and he'd no idea it could be this way, consuming and sublime.

A sound between a moan and a sob echoes in the night and it takes a few seconds for his brain to register that the sound came from him. But there's no shame in that, just contentment, because his brother is the cause of that.

Inevitably, he shivers and gasps with the force behind Liam's thrusts, lips ghosting along the line of his jaw, and then a whisper, "Just let go."

Opened around Liam, wrapped around Liam, he surrenders—like he never did before—and allows himself to have it.

Fingers are working on his erection and soon his toes curl, his climax taking him by surprise, a sensation that sparks down his spine and tightens his balls, and it's all he didn't know he has needed until now.

"Liam!" His nails dig into his brother's back, whose skin is slightly damp with sweat.

Flexing his ass is instinctive, causing Liam to groan in response. Blue eyes are on him again then, amazed and intense, but Walker just smiles, which is all the permission his brother needs to come too and with a shout that reverberates through him.

The world continues on its axis afterward, with no harmful consequences, only reinforcing the growing desire within him for this to happen again.

"Everything okay?" Liam asks softly, not reminding the dominant man of a few minutes ago. It's just his little brother again.

"Yeah." It's his automatic response, but Walker knows he needs to be honest about this. "I still have a lot to process, but everything will be fine. I just need time."

Time to be a father again, to be a son again, but mostly to allow himself to have this.

"I can wait."

Fingers play with the curly hair on Walker's chest, but there is nothing sexual about the gesture, and the familiar smell of Liam's shampoo against his nose is comforting.

As an afterthought, he remembers that he is the older brother and says, "Shouldn't it be I-"

"What century do you live in, dude?" Walker could die for the laugh shaking Liam's body. "And you're going to have to work a lot for it, cowboy."

His brother snuggles up to his chest.

A shooting star crosses the sky, and he thinks that's a blessing after all.


End file.
